Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle (2017 Film Review)

When I heard that Jumanji was playing in theatres, I first thought: Oh, yet another remake. Wasn't there a film named Jumanji made years ago? The one with the board game and animals? I vaguely remember watching it on television or something when I was a kid. Has Hollywood run out of ideas again? (My boyfriend, however, has not seen the 1995 film before. He has no childhood)

After doing a quick Internet search, I found that Rotten Tomatoes rated the 1995 film at 50% while the new one was rated around 80% (at that time), so I was quite keen to watch and it see how have they improved on it. On the whole, I was not disappointed. It was surprisingly entertaining. At certain moments of the movie, I gasped and held my breath to see what would happen next. During other parts, I was laughing together with everyone in the cinema, which was pretty packed since I watched it on Christmas Eve.

At first, I thought that movie was going to be so shitty. The story starts in 1996 at a beach, a reference to how the board game was discarded in the 1995 film. Somebody picks up the board game, brings it home and gives it to his son, who immediately goes like, "Who plays board games?" and goes back to his video game. And I was like, wait. What? Isn't it 1996? People still play board games, don't they? I would know; I mean, I grew up in the 90s! I had board games AND video games! Erm...

Later, when the kid is sleeping, he hears the drumbeats, and anyone who has watched Jumanji knows that that isn't a good sign. Every time you hear the Jumanji drumbeats, I would be thinking, uh oh. We're in the trouble. Sure enough, the boy wakes up and takes out the Jumanji board game, which has somehow turned into... a video game cartridge?

Erm... Okay... I had two misgivings about this. First of all, I didn't watch the trailers or anything like that. I didn't even know that they were remaking Jumanji until I decided to find out if there were any other movies to watch other than Pitch Perfect 3. I had originally wanted to watch Pitch Perfect 3 because, well, I liked the first one and I like Anna Kendrick. Although the second one was bad, I thought I could still watch it for Anna Kendrick, Rebel Wilson and other cast members. But it was rated 28% (at that time) so Jumanji seemed like a better option.

Anyway, since I didn't watch the trailers, I didn't know that it was going to be a movie about a video game. I thought they were going to keep the original concept of a board game coming to life or whatever. Secondly, HOW IN THE WORLD CAN A BOARD GAME TURN INTO A VIDEO GAME CARTRIDGE? This is why students are writing compositions that do not make sense AT ALL. 

And to make matters worse, instead of FREAKING OUT like a normal person would, the stupid boy decides to insert the video game cartridge and press play. Yeah. In the middle of the night. Wasn't he sleeping? A normal person would just rub his eyes blearily and think, "Omg I must be dreaming" and just flop back onto the bed. But no. This kid is as cool as a cucumber and plays a video game in the middle of the freakin' night. No. This is unacceptable.

As I am still trying to wrap my head about how stupid the movie is starting to seem, we cut to the present-day where kids are using SONY phones (hello, product placement) to take selfies or whatever it was they were doing. I was still feeling EXTREMELY CONFUSED about the previous scene and so I felt like they needed to explicitly state that it was no longer 1996. But I don't think they did. Or maybe in my confusion, I missed it. I have no clue. But I was thinking, if their version of 1996 was different from mine (you know, the one where kids dismissed board games), then who knows? Maybe movie logic dictates that kids could have smartphones in 1996?

But okay, that wasn't the case. It's 20 years after 1996 and there are four annoying teenagers who get sent to detention for different reasons. Let's start with the boys. Spencer, a typical nerd, wrote an essay for Fridge (that's his nickname) who is some kind of jock. They meet in front of what they call a "freak house" and Spencer passes him the essay that Fridge was too lazy to complete on his own. They get sent to the principal's office because, surprise surprise, Fridge's essay sounds like the one Spencer wrote.

The two girls who are sent for detention are Bethany and Martha. Bethany is your typical blonde bimbo character who doesn't care about anything or anyone else but herself. She gets caught video chatting with her friend in the middle of a test (who does that?), loudly complaining to her friend about how this guy didn't like her photo (again, who does that?). Martha, on the other hand, is a rude rebel who tells her gym teacher that she doesn't want to take part because she thinks that gym class is pointless and she doesn't wanna end up becoming a gym teacher. Ouch. I agree that PE sucks, but did you have to be such a tactless bitch?

So apparently, as you can tell, I think that all four teenagers are stupid. Let's face it. At this point, I'm unable to like any of them. It's not because I've become a grumpy old lady. I know how I was like as a teenager but I still cannot relate to their so-called problems, apart from hating PE. I take pride in writing essays on my own, especially for History. (That was my favourite subject! Apart from Literature) And I wouldn't do homework for others because that's just dumb and a waste of time. 

The four teens have to remove staplers from magazines that would be sent for recycling as punishment but since that's lame, they find an old video game console with Jumanji still attached to it. Since playing an old video game beats removing staplers, they decide to play and choose their avatars. I especially love how Fridge selected Franklin "Mouse" Finbar, thinking that he was gonna be a strong guy since he read it as "Moose" and not "Mouse". Bethany chose Professor Sheldon "Shelly" Oberon because he was described as a "curvy genius", but she ends up being a fat middle-aged man.

Instead of the game coming to life in the 1995 film, the video game sucks them in and they transform into their avatars. Martha becomes Ruby Roundhouse, a sexy martial arts expert who wears a crop top and short shorts in the jungle. Ugh. This always happens in video games, doesn't it? Somehow, the female characters have to be sexy even when they are badass! The same goes for female superheroes! And Spencer becomes Dr Smolder Bravestone, a tough guy who is played by none other than Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.

I have to say that I love the casting. The actors really portrayed themselves well, as teenagers trapped in bodies of video game characters. Karen Gillan is stunning as Ruby Roundhouse. She also played Nebula from Guardians of the Galaxy but of course, she was painted blue and her head was shaved, so she looked really different. With comedians like Kevin Hart as Fridge/Moose and Jack Black as Shelly the cartographer/Bethany, things became funny real quick. Bethany really stood out, since she was the only person who switched genders. Initially, she was annoyed by her own ugliness and disoriented because she did not have her phone with her. But she quickly became fascinated with her dick and at one point she was teaching Martha how to flirt and seduce men. And mind you, she was played by Jack Black. Naturally, hilarity ensued.

As they play the video game, Spencer learns to be brave and more confident. Martha realises that she shouldn't shut people out immediately. Bethany becomes less self-obsessed and in fact, quite selfless at one point. Fridge realises the importance of having a backpack. Okay, just kidding. Fridge was a big dude who became a little one. He hated it at first but he reconciled with his ex best friend Spencer and he probably realised that being strong isn't everything. I mean, he thought it was cool to be a brainy zoologist who was able to defang a snake. And because of game logic, he could rattle off facts and provide crucial information when it was necessary.

Okay, so in short, four teenagers who were trapped in detention were now trapped in a video game, and they had to work together to win the game in order to return to back to their normal lives. In the process, they learn more about one another and about themselves. Hmm. Sounds familiar? If you take away the part about the video game, it sounds like The Breakfast Club. Teenagers. Detention. Stereotypes. Self-discovery. Except that I hated The Breakfast Club. Absolutely nothing happens in The Breakfast Club. The only reason why my roommate and I watched it in Sydney was because of Pitch Perfect. Beca watched The Breakfast Club and she cried. Maybe she cried because she had fought with Jesse and she missed him. That's the only logical explanation I could think of, because after watching The Breakfast Club, the only reason why I would cry would be tears of joy. Finally! The boring movie is over!

Sorry, I digress. Back to Jumanji. In the 1995 movie, there's a man (Alan Parrish) who got trapped in the board game for 26 years (played by none other than Robin Williams). In this version, the kid trapped in the video game is none other than the idiot who decided to play the video game WITHOUT EVEN QUESTIONING ITS TRANSFORMATION IN THE FIRST PLACE. Ahem. He kind of deserved it. Anyway, the kid's name is Alex, and his avatar is played by Nick Jonas, who's supposed to be a pilot. The other teens realise that he's the kid who disappeared 20 years ago, which is why his father became an angry old man and their house became known as the freak house. Alex saves the four from a spot of trouble and brings them to his hideout, which was apparently built by Alan Parrish when he was trapped there! It was great that they made a reference to Robin William's character.

The five of them manage to complete the objective of the game, save Jumanji and return to reality. Oh, and everyone else in the game, like the evil villain and his henchmen, are NPCs. Rhys Darby plays Nigel, the guy who greets them and introduces the story to them. He also appears later on to shake their hand and congratulate them. (I remember Rhys Darby's performance in Yes Man as Jim Carrey's boss and he was so funny in that movie too!) As an NPC, he started repeating himself. Just like how Skyrim guards always tell you about how they were once an adventurer like you before they took an arrow to the knee.

Back in the real world, Bethany surprises her friend by saying that she wants to go hiking. Spencer and Martha kiss (properly, this time) and all of them remain friends. They find out that the freak house is no longer a freak house, because Alex was returned to 1996 and he had never disappeared. Like the 1995 film, there's this "time travel" component sort of a thing. They didn't travel back in time, but what the characters did changed certain things. Alex was seen getting out of the car outside his house. For him, 20 years had passed. He has his own family and his father looks happy. Alex greets the teenagers who are passing by and remembers their names. He even named his daughter Bethany, after the girl who saved his life. Aww!

It's best not to think about the "time travel" thing too much. Because once I did, I started to think about how Alex would have to purposely donate his video game console to his old school and hope that the four teenagers would find it. He must have done so, right? If he did not, would he suddenly cease to exist? Argh. Stories that mess around with time always try to wrap things up neatly but ultimately everything doesn't make sense. Apart from the logical issues in the plot (there is a limit to game logic and movie logic too okay), the movie was generally a good one.

The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa (Book Review)

I just finished the book! The first chapter already caused me to tear up so it was not surprising to find tears streaming out of my eyes as I got closer to the end. The cat cafe, Neko no Niwa, had published an Instagram story about the book and I told my boyfriend that I would love to read it. Parts of the book were written in the cat's perspective and I thought that it was cute. So after watching Jumanji on Christmas Eve, he bought it for me and gave it to me as a surprise! 

When I start reading a book that appeals to me, it is very hard for me to put it down. I could even wind up reading the book all the way to the end and sleep an ungodly hour. Thankfully, I had to travel to town today so I read the book on my way there and on the way back. It was apt that I had found a bookmark that had been given to me when I first visited Neko no Niwa. And of course, I continued to read back home, after greeting and playing with Shadow, my own adorable feline.

The Travelling Cat Chronicles is a simple and heartbreaking story. On the surface, it could seem boring. Satoru, the protagonist in the book, is going on a journey around Japan to find a new home for his cat Nana. He does not reveal why he has to give up the cat. At first, this was puzzling. It quickly becomes clear that Satoru and Nana love each other very much, so what was the "compelling reason" that Satoru had? What were his "unavoidable circumstances"?

However, the story drew me in because it was about so much more. Though Nana is also the main character in the story, the book is not just about cats. It's about friendship, love and family. When Satoru visits his friends with the pretext of trying to find Nana a new home, they reminisce and there are flashbacks written in the third person perspective. And Nana, his intelligent feline friend, was going to do everything in his power to avoid ending up in one of their homes.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD.

FINDING HUMOUR IN BAD SITUATIONS

Nana used to be a street cat before Satoru took him in. He takes pride in his excellent hunting skills, loves boxes, and hates going to the vet. A typical cat, in other words, but a remarkably perceptive one. Although I cried while reading the book, there were many humorous moments. In elementary school, Satoru pretended to run away with his best friend, Kosuke, in an attempt to convince the latter's parents to take in an abandoned kitten that was later named Hachi. The entire episode was hilarious! Satoru flatly announces to his mother that he was going to run away from home "for a while", believing that his plan would work just because he had read a story that was similar. 

Without these light-hearted moments which frequently involve cats, the story would have just been depressing. Every time Satoru explains the origins of Nana's name to a passing stranger, it was as if  I could feel Nana rolling his eyes. It was amusing to imagine how Yoshimine rudely grabbed Nana by his neck to check if he was "a real cat" and how Nana tricked Chatran, the kitten Yoshimine had rescued, to adopt a fighting stance in order to impress Yoshimine when actually Nana was getting the humans to believe that they did not like each other. Nana's reaction to the sea was hilarious too!

Satoru and Nana had to board a ship and sail to Hokkaido. Nana had to stay in the pet room full of cages, with a Chinchilla cat and other dogs, and it was so funny because Satoru kept coming back to check on Nana. And when Nana left, the Chinchilla cat said "good luck" to him a foreign language! English, I presume, but it was spelled in a way that perhaps people (or animals) who are more comfortable with the Japanese language would pronounce. Also, Satoru's aunt, Noriko, sent multiple emails to her nephew because she was uncertain if she had sounded curt and that was amusing as well.

FRIENDSHIP

Satoru is possibly the best friend you could ever have. When Satoru tried to "run away" from home with Kosuke, it shows how naive Satoru was as a child. However, it also demonstrated that he was a true friend. He just really wanted to help Kosuke convince his father to accept Hachi. In return, Kosuke was a good friend too. On a school trip, Satoru had to leave prematurely. Kosuke, not knowing the reason why Satoru had to return home, decides to help his best friend buy Satoru's mother the souvenir that she had requested from her son. 

It was truly heartbreaking to discover how Satoru's parents died in an accident considering how the souvenir Satoru had bought for his father was a keyring with "Road Safety" written on it. Satoru, who seemed to be putting up a brave front at his parent's funeral, only breaks down when Kosuke passes him the blotting paper his mother wanted. It must have been worrying for Noriko to have seen how distant her nephew seemed. With strangers, it is easy to put up a false front but with the walls come down when you're with your best friend.

This happens again in the second chapter, when Yoshimine confided in Satoru about his parents getting a divorce and eventually starts to cry. Both Yoshimine and Satoru are well-behaved kids from broken families and they just clicked ever since the day their teacher introduced Yoshimine to the class. It was awkward because the teacher told everyone about Yoshimine's family situation and asked them to be friends with him. Perhaps, in the entire class, only Satoru understood Yoshimine's annoyance with the teacher. Although the teacher merely wished to help, she was quite insensitive. Nobody wants to people to befriend them just because they are pitiful. I imagine the same is true for celebrities. They probably don't want others to be friends with them just because they are rich and famous.

FAMILY

The story keeps coming back to the idea of family. Satoru tragically loses his parents in a car accident and his aunt has to take care of him. Even though he loses his parents, he does not lose sight of the importance of family. Hachi, his first cat, had always been considered as family to him. In junior high, Satoru and Yoshimine tried to travel to Kokura to visit Hachi, who had to live with distant relatives ever since Satoru's parents died. In high school, he is motivated by the same desire and takes up a part-time job at Chikako's family's orchard to save up for the trip. Although he doesn't make it in time, he still manages to visit and mourn the death of Hachi. Later in the book, Satoru also visits his parents' and grandparents' graves.

Perhaps the death of his parents, his cat, and his own impending death had caused Satoru to become emotionally mature. Satoru insisted that Kosuke could not take in Nana for the wrong reasons -- Kosuke wished to adopt Nana to lure his estranged wife home and to get back at his father for not allowing him to adopt Hachi in the past. Whatever it was, Kosuke was not the right human for Nana and it seemed like Satoru's visit helped him realise that he had to make things right and mend his relationship with his wife.

Noriko, who was brought up by her elder sister, values her family very much too. She felt like she owed her success to her sister and wished to do everything she could for Satoru. In the end, she finally stepped down from her position as a judge so that she could live with Satoru again in the days that led to his demise. She even took down notes on stroking Nana and prepared a new cardboard box for him! Even though these actions were unnecessary, she was trying her best for Satoru.

LOVE

Pet owners love their pets, but do their pets love them in return? In the book, the answer is a definite yes. In the third chapter, Satoru arrives at Sugi and Chikako's hotel, all ready to meet their dog and cat. However, the Kai Ken named Toramaru instinctively knows that his owner, Sugi, sees Satoru as a threat and barks at him instead. Tora doesn't want Nana around because his humans would be reminded of Satoru and tells Nana that his human smells like "he isn't going to make it" which causes Nana to strike him with his claws. This is probably the first obvious sign that Satoru wasn't laid off; he was going to die. When humans are in danger or in ill-health, animals seem to instinctively know. Both pets were standing up for their humans out of love and devotion. And when Satoru was reaching the end of his life, Nana runs away from Noriko and stays outside the hospital, waiting to greet Satoru when he comes out for walks. (Reminded me of Hachiko!) Nana loves his human so much!

There was also a classic love triangle during Satoru's high school days. Sugi and Chikako were childhood friends and he had liked her. After Sugi and Satoru save a Shih Tzu from a ditch, Chikako took in the dog and the three of them became friends. However, Sugi was always wary of Satoru and envious of him. He tried to make it seem like he found the Shih Tzu around the same time Satoru did. He told Satoru that he liked Chikako so that Satoru wouldn't confess his feelings in high school, and even when they were in college, he begged Satoru not to tell Chikako that he used to like her in high school. Sugi wished he had said that Chikako was cute first instead of Satoru, and wished that he was as thoughtful as Satoru when Satoru returned from his trip with souvenirs that Chikako liked. 

Ultimately, Sugi was not confident about himself, and Satoru could see that. Sugi admires Satoru for being such a strong and kind person, feeling as if he could never measure up to Satoru. However, Satoru tells him that Sugi's relationship with Chikako is stronger than he thinks. I wouldn't say that Satoru was selfless while Sugi was selfish. Satoru simply valued his friendship with Sugi and Chikako more while Sugi's insecurities caused him to react negatively. At the end of Satoru's visit, he tells Chikako that he used to like and they all laugh. Later, however, Sugi gains a little more confidence when his wife tells him she would not have known who to choose. His sense of inferiority must have caused him to think that Chikako would have definitely chosen Satoru over him. Since Satoru is quite a perceptive person, as Nana points out, Satoru must have known this and by telling Chikako that he used to like her, he was helping Sugi out before he passed on. In the end, Satoru's love for his friends and his aunt brought the characters together too.

BEING SENSITIVE/INSENSITIVE TOWARDS OTHERS

The dogs that were on board the ship to Hokkaido did not seem like a sensitive lot. The Chinchilla cat spoke up for Nana when the dogs teased Nana for being pampered and feeling lonely. It claimed that Nana's owner was lonely and since he smelled like he was dying, he wished to spend more time with his cat. They were being such insensitive mongrels! Kosuke's father was the worst though; he was not even apologetic about his insensitive remark to Kosuke's wife after her miscarriage.

Nana and Satoru seemed to be the most perceptive creatures in the story. Satoru was able to see that his form teacher had kind intentions even though what she did was quite insensitive. And Noriko may seem like someone who is too blunt but he understands that she means well. Noriko, in contrast, is shockingly insensitive towards others. Apparently, almost right after adopting Satoru, she delivers the news to that he was not related to his parents by blood and that his real parents did not want him. She does not taken into account Satoru's feelings and only regrets telling him after seeing the look on his face. He was just a kid and she dropped a truth bomb on him just like that! She even neglects her boyfriend's feelings by taking in Satoru without even discussing it with him first. 

I think it was important to include the cat's perspective to show how important it is to be sensitive towards animals as well, not just other people. As the title of Chapter 4 suggests, Noriko learns to be a more sensitive and loving person. Initially, Noriko was insensitive when she touched Nana's tail instead of petting him on the head and she also freaked out with Nana rubbed himself against her legs, which caused Nana to feel annoyed because he was just trying to greet her. Noriko also admits that she didn't understand how much Hachi meant to Satoru and somewhat makes up for it in the end because she brings Nana to Satoru's death bed despite the matron's protests. By the end of the book, she is sensitive to Nana's needs and even takes in a new kitten of her own.

People should put themselves in the paws of a cat once in a while. If they did, there would be no such thing as animal abuse. I mean, how would you like it if someone pulled your tail or if someone threw things at you? Sometimes, humans are disgusting.

His GF vs Your GF (PUI AH)

I just watched one of the stupidest videos I've ever watched in the longest time. It appeared on my Facebook page (one of the worst places to find videos, another reason why I hardly use FB anymore since YouTube actually gives me what I want based on my subscriptions and not what my friends post) and I was consumed with such anger that I felt compelled to write this post.

First of all, the video was published by a Singaporean YouTube channel months ago. I have unsubscribed to that channel long ago (thank goodness) and after watching it, I feel ashamed to call myself Singaporean. For those who are unfamiliar with the video in question, the video is titled "His Girlfriend vs Your Girlfriend" which is already ridiculous. Why are people comparing girlfriends in the first place? In the video, "His Girlfriend" seems to be "perfect" while "Your Girlfriend" seems like she's not the type of girl you should date. That's the general idea that they're going for.

While the video could have actually been funny, I found myself growing angrier by the minute. Instead of depicting relationships in a funny manner, they were showing impressionable viewers toxic relationships. They were also giving people unrealistic standards of relationships. I know that students watch Singaporean YouTube channels and even admire some of these YouTube celebrities, so this adds on to my annoyance as well. You could be thinking, "Eh! You're reading into it too much lah! It's just a video what!" But whatever. I'm entitled to my own opinion and feelings.

In the silly video, "Your GF" was trying to peer over the shoulder of her boyfriend to see if he's texting a hot girl. He was trying to tilt the phone away from his girlfriend which makes her even more insecure. If you're in a stable relationship, what's there to hide? How can this be considered an "undesirable" trait of a girlfriend when it's clearly the guy who is behaving in a suspicious manner? A few scenes later, "Your GF" surprises her boyfriend at his house and checks his bedroom. Obviously, she was opening the cupboards and lifting up the blankets to see if he was hiding another girlfriend somewhere. This, dear viewers, is how you can drive your girlfriend up the wall and make her become an insecure bitch. 

Apparently, females should not be allowed to have an opinion. When the "ideal" girl (aka "His GF") apologises, all she says is "I'm sorry". When "Your GF" apologises, on the other hand, she fiercely makes her point after the apology. No shit. That's what people do when they disagree. How is the behaviour of "Your GF" not ideal? Do you want a girlfriend who has an empty brain and no opinions of her own at all? This is emphasised in the very next scene when the "ideal" girl just tells her boyfriend that she doesn't want to talk to him anymore and gives him the cold shoulder when they are having a fight, while the "crazy" girlfriend actually shouts at her boyfriend and throws cushions at him. Honestly, the "ideal" girl doesn't even seem to care! Would you rather have a mute girlfriend or someone who tells you exactly why they're feeling frustrated? 

The video also reinforces gender stereotypes. Apparently, "ideal" girls are supposed to be weaker than their male counterparts. They should run slowly and they should refrain from drinking alcohol. Erm, excuse me? Are we living in the 21st century or are we not? We should be also concerned for "His GF", who is trying too hard to be perfect for her guy that she is coming across as fake. Perhaps she's even scared of her boyfriend, or perhaps her boyfriend is so controlling and such a male chauvinist pig that he expects her to behave like an angel. For instance, who actually risks being late for work just to get breakfast for her boyfriend? Unless he's really ill, which does not seem to be the case in the video, that's just ridiculous. Your life does not revolve around your man. If you are being manipulated to behave in this way then get out your toxic relationship asap.

In short, if the people who made this video think that "ideal" girls should have no personality at all, they have done well. It's simply disgusting to see that such a shitty video has 1.6m views. Thanks Facebook friends, but I'll stick to YouTube videos by comedians who are actually funny.