Shadow scratched me recently by accident. She was spooked by Snowy, who was hanging around sneakily or something, but I didn't realise that she was on edge. So when she came to the sofa, I tried to pat her and she jumped into the air, scratching me in the process.
I don't blame her at all because I didn't read the situation well and I realise that the both of us spook easily. This incident has inspired me to write about how I get spooked easily too.
1. Making friends online
It's difficult to make friends online when people around you are always warning you about potential scammers and creeps out there, especially if you are a girl. When I was thirteen, I was playing an online game and I met an Australian dude there. We were chatting and hitting it off but I suddenly stopped talking to him. I think it was because we had a talk in school about how dangerous it was to make friends online and how weirdos might tell you that they are 13 but end up being like 60, so I freaked out and just stopped.
I remembered his name and email address (I no longer do) so a few years later when I randomly thought about this, I searched for him online. Turns out that he was using his legit name and it was linked to the email address that he had given me. I was surprised and also thinking like, damn it. I could've made a friend!
In the past few years, I have managed to make some friends on Instagram because of our mutual love for cats. But I'm still super wary of weirdos and so I usually assume the worst of everyone by first jumping to the conclusion that the person is a creep. I don't follow back until I can confirm, after some time, that they are just fellow cat lovers.
Last year, I created an account on Twitch and so far it's been okay. Although most Twitch users are males, it is clear whether they are creeps or not. I have learned that generally, creeps send you private messages and ask you to do strange things like take off your underwear. Most of the dudes I've met there so far just want to talk about games though, so that's wonderful. It also helps if most people in group chats don't click on your profile and assume that you're a guy anyway. At first I thought it wasn't a good thing, but now I'm all like, "Yes, please keep calling me a 'dude/guy/mate' and keep using 'he/him' pronouns. Idgaf. It's safer that way."
P.S. I hope nobody's reading this and thinking, "Oh she's so full of herself! She's writing this and calling guys creeps, which means she thinks she's attractive etc." That's not it. That's just the way girls are brought up. We've been taught to be wary of men from a young age because they could be rapists, molesters, creeps and jerks.
P.P.S. Speaking of which, how many you males have been sexually harassed online before? I don't even use dating apps like Tinder but I have had such experiences. For instance, you'd think you'd be safe on Carousell, an app for buying and selling stuff. But nope, girls are harassed there too. I've been asked to try on clothes that are made of sheer fabric and send pictures of myself because I thought it would be good to be honest and tell people that the top or dress could be slightly see-through. I've been propositioned on Carousell and he said he'd pay me $50. How dumb and/or easy do they think I am?
2. Ordering food
As an introvert, I hate ordering food. I generally try not to make this too obvious, but I think friends who are closer to me might have sensed it, and those who are observant would have noticed my awkwardness. I love going on dates and playing the gender card so that my date would order my food for me. Sure, some people may think that I'm being a bitch and a fake feminist but I hate talking to strangers too much to care about that.
There are so many reasons why I hate ordering food. Firstly, as an introvert, I don't find it necessary to yell my order at people, even if I'm at a crowded place. This means that sometimes, I get the wrong order. Sometimes I just deal with it by taking whatever they give me without complaints, but at other times I have to awkwardly tell them that they've got it wrong -- like if they give me bowls of food when I actually ordered it to go -- which is a waste of time for everyone involved.
Secondly, there are strangers who stop to make conversations with you. For instance, I like eating caifan (rice with side dishes like meat and vegetables) and I order it quite often at hawker centres or food courts. It's fine when the people there just serve me what I want without making small talk. In recent years, due to my lip eczema, they might stop to point out that my lips are dry and/or flaking and tell me to drink more water because they think I'm dehydrated. They don't know that it's eczema and I don't bother to correct them unless somehow I've been feeling rather extroverted that day. (Can extroversion be a feeling? What I mean to say is that sometimes I feel more comfortable and confident talking to strangers I guess? It depends on the situation, my mood, the person whom I'm talking to, and possibly a bunch of other factors)
However, when conversations bother on creepy, I'll for sure get spooked and avoid eating there for a while. I might return if I really wish to eat from that stall again, or if the creepy person working there isn't there that day. For instance, some caifan uncles may call me "Xiaomei" which is fine, but it is weird if they start saying that I'm pretty or ask me if I'm single. They might just be friendly guys but I still get spooked because I don't like awkward conversations with random people.
One super awkward thing that happened was when I had to buy dinner for myself and John after work. It was a Saturday evening and I had lessons from 9am to 6pm, which means standing and teaching for about 8 hours. I was mentally fried when I walked up to the stall and placed my order in Mandarin. Guess what? I slipped up and the words came out of my mouth wrong since I was exhausted, and the dude laughed at me. Even though he knew exactly what I meant, he just had to embarrass me. Wow. I know my Mandarin sucks lah, but still! Anyway, I tried to avoid going back there as much as I could. Unfortunately, I had no choice but to return even after that awkward conversation because John forced me to buy from there since he liked the food. I haven't forgotten about the incident though.
Lastly, I hate ordering food because sometimes the people who take your order don't seem to even hear you or notice your presence. I'm not sure if it's just me or if the service in Singapore is shit. My most recent encounter was when I waited for someone to take my order at a stall in a food court. The lady in charge of this was busy, but when she returned to the counter, she took someone else's order even though that person appeared much later than I did and was queuing up behind me. I've never been more furious so I went back home with only John's food and had cup noodles.
3. Being snuck up on at night
I'm a night owl. I take forever to wake up and I'm extremely unproductive in the day. For instance, I just managed to clear quite a lot of work and I'm feeling pretty energetic even though I'm blogging at 3am.
Anyway, when the people living with me creep up on me in order to tell me to go to sleep, I get spooked! They're supposed to be sleeping!
When I lived with my parents, it was usually my mother who did this. She would shuffle her feet so I knew that she was coming and it wasn't so scary. My father would occasionally scold me and I would immediately go to sleep because he would look pissed off. Now that I live with John, I get spooked because he doesn't make a sound when he sneaks up towards me! It doesn't help that I'm wearing headphones as well. I jolted upright and said "Ahh!" when John crept up from behind recently.
And of course, this could all be made worse if I'm watching, playing or thinking of something spooky.
4. Not answering the door
I used to play Neopets when I was a kid. When you create your Neopet, you get to choose their personality. One question was something like, "How does your Neopet greet others?" And there were a few options but those I remember are as follows:
a) Try and make friends
b) Approach with caution
c) Run away!
I think I would usually pick option (b) since option (a) was a little too friendly (Stranger Danger!) and option (c) sounded too cowardly. In hindsight, option (a) was probably for extroverts, option (b) was for ambiverts and option (c) was for introverts.
Anyway, IRL, I don't run away from others obviously but I do run away from strangers if they come to the door and they can't see me. When I lived with my parents, I'd just whisper urgently, "Mum! Answer the door!" and basically refuse to answer it myself unless she was stuck in the toilet. I would check the peephole and just tiptoe back into my room if it looked like someone who was just there to sell me something I didn't need.
It's still ok if the strangers at the door are simply there to deliver food or other stuff that we've ordered online. But it really sucks when the door is left open for fresh air and someone we have not been expecting comes up to the gate. Then they'd see me sitting there on the sofa and it'll be awkward not to respond, so I'd have no choice in those situations.
In recent years, I live with John and he has always been answering the door as well. Once, I heard a sudden knock on the door and jumped up in surprise. Then, I ran away from the door and realised that Shadow was doing the exact same thing! LOL.
5. Avoiding strangers on the street
People on the street have spooked me multiple times. There was this funny incident that happened to me relatively recently. I was shopping alone at Westgate and just strolling about, completely lost in my thoughts and probably also drinking milk tea at the same time. Then, out of nowhere, this young lady came up to me and said, "Hi! I'm actually from Westgate!" (I'm not even kidding. This was exactly what she said)
I didn't know what the heck she wanted from me, but she spooked me and shocked me out of my reverie, completely causing me to lose the feeling of peace and tranquility that had descended upon me at that time. So I probably gave her an incredibly judgmental stare and just walked away.
Then I went home and laughed about it. But I also felt a little bad because she was probably just trying to do her job.
There are some really pushy touts on the street. Some of them actually follow you down the street and even when you speed up, they speed up as well to match your pace. They can't take 'no' for an answer and they don't seem to understand body language. This sucks if you're in a rush or if you're an introvert like me and you simply hate talking to strangers.
I've tried my best to be nice by shaking my head and giving them dismissive waves or smiles to indicate my disinterest but they are so persistent. Even when I'm trying to be nice, I can get insulted. I remember some guy calling me "rude" when I tried this. What a loser. I can't remember what else they've said but trust me, there have been many other stupid comments.
So I've decided not to be nice and nowadays I just pretend not to hear them instead. I'll look at my phone and pretend to be completely absorbed with what I'm doing. This doesn't work sometimes because the salesman on the street might say, "Oh! Playing Pokemon Go?" or something like that in a most irritating manner. Ughhh. Don't fucking look at my screen and give me some privacy!
Ever since I was a teenager, evangelists have approached me on the streets. And I've always hated it. Why do they even do this? No offence to your religion, but what makes you assume that I'm not spiritual? What makes you think that I'm unhappy with my lack of religion? What makes you think that I'm unhappy at all? What makes you think that I need your help? What makes you think that you are in the position to give absolute strangers advice and tell them what to do with their lives when you don't know a damn thing about them? Isn't it very high and mighty of them to think that they have all the answers?
One of them actually chased after me and followed me all the way to the bus stop so I had no choice but to listen to her there. I was praying so hard for the bus to arrive but I was forced to listen to a sermon that wasn't well-explained. When the bus came, I said "bye!" and rushed off. I was so relieved!
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