Descendants 3 (Film Review)

R.I.P Cameron Boyce.

(I'd recommend the watching the interviews on ABC News about his death. They interviewed his parents in one interview, and also Kenny Ortega, Dove Cameron and Booboo Stewart in another. But for right now, this blog post is going to be a lighthearted one about the movie)

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Okay, so FYI: the Descendants movies are like my guilty pleasure. I know that the movies are bad, but I still enjoy them. The same goes for High School Musical. So even though I'm probably going to write about how shitty and illogical the movie is, I still enjoy the songs and the dance moves.

After watching the movie, I realised that there was something wrong with it but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then I read my previous review and it hit me: the Descendants movies are about TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS.

I already covered this in the aforementioned review, but I didn't know that it was going to play such a huge role yet again in the third installment of the Descendants. I didn't review the first movie, but Ben and Mal's relationship started off wrong because Mal gave him a love potion cookie or whatever. And later in that same movie, we find out that Ben knew that he had been spelled ever since the spell wore off when he got to take a dip in the Enchanted Lake.

At first glance, it's sweet and all that. Like, aww, he liked Mal all along! But if you really think about it, Ben's just a coward. He was already in a toxic relationship with Princess Audrey (emphasis on the 'princess', because that was how she introduced herself to the VKs) and didn't like her that much anymore because he realised she was mean and selfish. And he had already started liking Mal. So instead of doing the grown up thing and breaking up with Audrey properly i.e. talk it out and give her closure, he decided to just... continue pretending that he was under a love spell for the rest of the movie.

(We all know that he was under the influence of the love potion when he sang 'Did I Mention', which actually makes his proposal in the third movie even worse if you really think about it. But again, it was just glossed over as another 'aww' moment)

Somehow, Ben, an immature teenager is proposing to Mal, another immature teenager. They are too young and their relationship hasn't really changed since the last movie! Mal is still keeping secrets from Ben. In Descendants 2, she used her spell book behind his back. In this one? She kept a HUGE secret from Ben: the fact that Hades is her father. I get that Evie is her best friend so she knows, but shouldn't you also tell your boyfriend/fiance who your father is as well?

Okay, I have to admit that the songs are even better in Descendants 3. I love the song 'Do What You Gotta Do' because of the rock n roll vibe, and I love almost everything Sofia Carson's 'One Kiss'. The best song is 'Queen of Mean' obviously. Disney villain songs are the best.

But is it just me or are the dance moves... just a little off? Because they are kinda unrealistic. For instance, in 'Night Falls', they are fighting and yet dancing with the knights (or rather empty suits of armour, but well, there's the night/knight pun) and it just seems so fake. In reality, or even in the reality of fantasy worlds, if the villain casts a spell to get knights to attack you, the knights wouldn't just stand there and wait for you to squabble about who's in charge, and they sure as heck wouldn't wait for you to attack them like it's a dance. The dance moves in 'Do What You Gotta Do' was also really strange and forced. Like they are both trying way too hard to be cool. And I get that it's a musical, but I don't think this was an issue in the previous movies. Or in most movie musicals I've watched.

Since we are talking about the music, I'd just like to mention that the song 'My Once Upon A Time' doesn't fit into the narrative AT ALL. This is the song Mal sings after all her friends have abandoned her. It's really, really strange. I know it starts out with Mal being all sad, but eventually, for most of the song, it sounds uplifting and hopeful. Which is just so strange because there's nothing for Mal to be hopeful about! I feel like they had recorded the song and just wanted to squeeze it in there even if it didn't fit into the plot, just because they liked the song. Sigh. 

There are two illogical things that happen in the movie that I had issue with. First of all, Jane texts her mum, the Fairy Godmother, about Audrey having Maleficent's evil scepter. So Fairy Godmother rushes down to the museum to get her wand but when she's on the steps to the museum, she turns into stone. Jane gets worried and goes off to find her mum, and when she sees her mum, she's sad, but she also starts catching up with her and telling her that it's the longest birthday she's ever had. Even though it's unclear whether or not her mother is able to hear her. 

Okay, whatever. I don't have a problem with all that. It's all good until Jane and her two other friends just... hang out? Instead of grabbing the wand from the museum and trying to do something with it, Jane chooses to hang out. With her mum. Who has turned into stone. Wow. A moment ago, we thought that Jane was smart to dive underwater and escape Audrey's sleeping spell by holding her breath in the Enchanted Lake. We thought that she was smart when she used Enchanted Lake water to turn Ben from beast to human. I guess she used up all her intelligence by then or something. I guess the movie didn't want the minor characters to do anything major because Mal has to be the one who does everything. Ugh.

The second illogical thing that happened was when Mal revealed to her friends that she wanted to close the portal or barrier or whatever that separates the Isle of the Lost from Auradon. Why? Just, why? Obviously she feels guilty, but that's super bad timing. Can't she wait until the threat has been dealt with and admit her mistake? Again, it's like: are these characters supposed to be smart? Because Mal has done a lot of stupid things in all three movies. I don't think she or Ben should be even trusted to rule an entire kingdom, especially when they are basically immature teens.

My last point for this review would be how certain issues remain unaddressed by the end of the movie. You'd think that this is a trilogy and so all loose ends should be tied up, and everything gets neatly wrapped up like a cute little present with a bow on top. But no.

First overlooked issue: the lack of a proper justice system in Auradon. When Audrey is dying because Mal overpowers her magic, causing Audrey's magic to backfire on her or whatever, Mal brings in her father, Hades, because the Lord of the Underworld can help bring people back from the brink of death. Hades struts in, grabs his ember, and revives her. Yay, happy ending!

Wrong. Before Hades revives Audrey, there was a conversation that went something like this:

Hades: Since when do heroes care about villains?
Ben: She's-
Hades: One of your own? (sneer and derisive laugh) Right. When you guys try to destroy the world, this is an error in judgement. But, when it's one of us, lock 'em up and throw away the key. Right, Beast?

This brief conversation encapsulates the problem with Descendants. From the start, Ben has been saying that it's wrong to lock up the villains AND their kids, since the kids are innocent. Yet in the third movie, Mal almost makes the decision to close the barrier, which would have meant that innocents would remain locked up. 

And yes, I know that by the end of the movie, she realises that that would have been a mistake and she gets rid of the barrier once and for all. But there is still no proper justice system in Auradon. What's going to happen if these villains and their kids commit crimes e.g. steal from others? Who knows. And most importantly, is Disney trying to tell kids that they can cast curses on people, make them all sleep and even turn some into stone, yet still get away with it all if their parents are royalty? And there will be no consequences at all as long as they apologise? Wow. No wonder kids today are getting from bad to worse. (Also, as long as you apologise, you get to take part in the musical number at the end of the movie too! Yay!)

The second unaddressed issue in the movie are the toxic relationships. I've already talked about Ben and Mal's relationship, and how incompetent they will be at running the kingdom, but there's also Audrey's relationship with her grandmother, Queen Leah. Okay, so at the end of the day, Ben and Mal apologise to Audrey for hurting her, and Audrey and her grandmother apologise to Mal as well. (Because if you recall, Queen Leah was a bitch to Mal in the first movie too)

But we never see Queen Leah apologising to Audrey for attempting to brainwash her into thinking that the throne was hers. Queen Leah has been insidiously trying to get Audrey on the throne ever since she was born. We see pictures of Audrey and Ben growing up together as kids in Audrey's room. And in Audrey's song, 'Queen of Mean', she literally tells the audience that she'd always thought that she'd be the queen. She also sings that she never thought of herself as mean, even though she has been mean since the very first movie! She's so privileged that she is unable to reflect on her own actions. Jeez. Again this re-emphasises the same idea in the first movie: being born on the right side of the barrier doesn't automatically make you a good person.

Anyway, back to Queen Leah. She definitely owes Audrey a huge apology because in the third movie, we finally understand why Audrey's the way she is. It's because of her grandmother, who pressurises her unnecessarily, telling her that she should become the next queen. This is what she actually says in the movie:

Queen Leah: A lifetime of plans. Gone. Our family status. Gone. Audrey, you're supposed to be his queen, and you let him slip through your fingers! Your mother could hold on to a prince in her sleep!

This is how Queen Leah got into Audrey's head. And this is an extremely toxic relationship. Children should not be told what they should become when they grow up. Adults should not be living vicariously through their children or their grandchildren. Someone once said, "If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path."

It's a shame that Disney didn't address this issue, because there are kids out there who desperately want to be good and please their family (like Audrey), but following the path that has already been laid out for them ultimately isn't what's good for them.

Overall, the movies were enjoyable because of the fact that they were musicals. The premise was good, but there was potential for the movies to delve even deeper into these themes instead of just scratch the surface. 

How to Plan a Wedding (with a budget of $25,000)

As you probably already know, my husband and I held our wedding ceremony for our family and friends on 2 June 2019 at Hort Park. But what you don't know is how much everything costs.

When my mother was inviting my relatives to the wedding, I told one of my aunties that I was a budget bride and she said, "No lah, don't like that say." I thought that this was weird because I'm proud to be a budget bride! Why would I feel proud about spending a lot of money on just one ridiculous event that is only a few hours long and isn't even meant for me to enjoy? I know that a lot of Chinese people think that "face" is very important, but honestly I can't be bothered. When organising an event, you'd be so caught up with all the details and you'd be so busy making sure that things go smoothly that you'd never actually get to enjoy the big day itself. So why spend so much on the wedding when you can spend more on your house and your honeymoon?

My husband and I paid for the wedding expenses ourselves, so we weren't prepared to spend a large proportion of our life savings on just the wedding when we had to pay for the renovation of our new house too. Also, it's wrong to plan a wedding thinking that you can spend all you want since the angpaos will make up for it, because that's not something that you actually have control over. In our case, we were pleasantly surprised that we received quite a lot of money from our angpaos! Although the angpaos collected ultimately didn't cover the total cost, I think that the money that we spent was worth it because many guests said that the garden themed wedding was beautiful and I absolutely agree.

Here's what we spent on and approximately how much things cost. I've mostly rounded it up or down to the nearest ten or hundred, and GUESS WHAT? It's almost exactly $25k! Mission accomplished! Haha! Anyway, here's the breakdown:

1. Caterer ($12,750)

Food is obviously the going to cost the largest amount of money. We catered for 200 people even though less than 200 people were coming because I wanted to make sure that there would be enough food for everyone in case they wanted an extra serving. The catering company was also in charge of all the floral decorations and the bouquet that I was holding.

Although the caterer screwed a few things up at the wedding, at least the food was good and the macarons were adorable! 

They made 200 macarons as wedding favours for our guests, which were in the shape of cats and rabbits. I chose some pictures of cute macarons on Pinterest and they were able to replicate them! Oh, and the wedding cake was Pinterest inspired too.

Many of our guests kept telling us about how good the food was! I didn't get to eat much but I'm glad that everyone's tummies were satisfied.

2. Prewedding Shoot ($2,600)

Some of you may have a separate budget for the prewedding shoot but I included this to show that it is possible to have an overseas prewedding shoot even on a budget. I did some research and felt that taking pictures in Singapore would be kinda boring. Going overseas sounded a lot more fun! And it was, because we didn't just go to Indonesia for the shoot. We also explored Surabaya a little, then did some hiking at Mount Bromo before heading to Ijen.

Anyway, since we were on a budget, we couldn't possibly go to Europe. Also, some prewedding photoshoot packages seemed really expensive and gimmicky. They would restrict the number of photos that you would get and give you additional stuff that you don't want.

So in the end, we decided to have our prewedding shoot in Indonesia. Since it's not too far away, everything would be much cheaper. I found a list of local Indonesian wedding photographers and we chose to go with House of Photographers. We brought my husband's suit and two of my dresses over, and they arranged everything else for us (two cameramen, one makeup artist, and transportation). Since we didn't want to go to cliche, recognisable places, we went to places that people have not heard of before.

The cameramen and makeup artist were very professional and my husband was super pleased. We were in good hands and he didn't have to worry much. Also, they gave us all the photographs that they took. No gimmicks.


3. Venue ($2,500)

I took this picture when we first arrived 

As mentioned, we had our wedding at Hort Park. We booked the multi-purpose hall for the entire day so that the catering company could go there early and set up the tables and chairs and all the other stuff. We also booked another room for the tea ceremony, which took place just before the dinner.

4. Decorations and other miscellaneous stuff ($2,400)

We hired a vendor to help us with the decoration of the stage and the reception area (welcome board, area to display photographs, and I really wanted a wishing well for the angpaos to be placed in so yay! I got that!). 

The wooden photo frames were from Daiso and we developed the photos before passing them to the vendor so that they could arrange it all nicely. The balloons with our names on them were from Partyshop SG.

I chose to have balloons with vines, as well as balloon bouquets with balloon leaves, since I wanted a garden themed wedding!

Special shout out to Yanli, who designed the wedding invitation cards for me! She managed to draw a cat and a rabbit out and it was exactly what I asked for. Then John and I simply went to a printing shop and got the cards printed out so that we could distribute them to our relatives. Easy peasy!

5. Makeup Artist and Photographer (1,500)

Actually, we spent more than the amount stated above. We gave each of them a tip since they were both so helpful and professional on the day of our wedding. (P.S. I'm not including the amount we spent giving away extra angpaos, since you could consider that as optional)

Most of the pictures I'm using in this blog post (apart from the prewedding pictures and unless otherwise stated) were taken by Zhun Kiat, the photographer we had from Jstillmotion. 


6. Band ($1,500)

Contrary to popular belief, we paid for the band ok. John is part of The MadHatter Project so he knows what the market rate is. Musicians still got to eat, so don't be stingy ok!

7. Alcohol ($1,000)

We had Shake Affinity to help us with alcohol. My dad also provided us with some bottles of hard liquor for the cocktails, but in the end most of it didn't get used. Shake Affinity provided us with beer and wine, but only the wine ran out. So now we have a hell lot of beer and hard liquor in our kitchen. I don't know what to do with this much alcohol!

I chose to have pina coladas and other cocktails at my wedding because I personally love pina coladas (just like the song). But I guess it wasn't a hit. Since alcohol wasn't as popular as I expected, we probably could've saved more money here. But it also wouldn't be nice if we ran out of alcoholic drinks or didn't provide them at all, so this was still kinda necessary.

8. Suit and gowns ($750)

I think I've mentioned way too many times that we got our stuff from Taobao. The most awesome thing about buying stuff from Taobao is that it comes with freebies! For instance, I think every single dress I bought came with a veil, a pair of gloves, and a can-can. They also gave us a free jewellery set, complete with necklace, earrings, ring, etc. (Not that I actually used these things, though. The jewellery was too gaudy and I had my own. I only used the can-cans.)

You might be thinking: Why so expensive? One wedding dress from Taobao is only about $100! Well, after purchasing the dresses from Taobao, we had to bring it to a tailor to alter it to perfection.

My husband got a blue suit from there and I bought a pair of shoes as well as three dresses:

a) Blue gown for photoshoot in Indonesia

We had to alter this gown because the boob area was too big (yes sadly, my boobs weren't big enough). The aunties at Alt-To-Fit had to alter the shit out of this dress by removing some sequins and sewing them back on again. But everything else about this dress was amazing.

b) White gown for tea ceremony

Ok, this gown was a little disappointing because when I first put it on I felt that it looked nothing like the gown in the pictures on the Taobao app. Thankfully, the aunties at Alt-To-Fit were able to salvage the gown so I looked decent.

c) White gown for wedding dinner

I DID NOT NEED TO ALTER THIS DRESS AT ALL. I had it made to measure, which means that I had to figure out what all the Chinese terms meant and then measure what felt like every single part of my body. This was done by my mother-in-law actually, because she's also a talented seamstress herself. Then, she told us the measurements and we messaged the people on Taobao and... Voila! In a couple of weeks, a perfect dress had arrived from China! It was princessy so I really liked it and chose it as the dress that everyone would see me in. Unfortunately I have since found out that I suck at walking in long and poofy dresses.

Total: $25,000

Final thoughts:

Like I said, I'm proud that we managed to plan a wedding that costs only $25k. It may seem like a big amount to some, while others might find that I should've had a more extravagant wedding. But to each their own.

If you know me well enough, you'd know that my dad has eight older siblings, which means that growing up, I've had to attend so many weddings. All of my cousins would have their weddings at luxurious hotels. They'd always have the cliche photo montage (baby to adulthood), speeches, and everyone (mostly men) would somehow feel compelled to shout yam seng for an inordinate amount of time. There'd be so many tables in the ballroom and the food would take forever to arrive. (Once, the dessert took so long to arrive that we left before it was served!) Usually, my stomach would be rumbling but we still had to sit through some lame video that showed us what happened in the morning at gate crashing and all that. To me, it all became boring AF.

Which is why we did away with the speech, gatecrashing, and yam seng portions of typical weddings. I made my own photo montage of pictures that actually matter to my relationship. And instead of waiting for the food to arrive, our guests could go get the food themselves. No groomsmen, no bridesmaids, no wedding rings. My wedding is probably the weirdest one out of all the others. But so what? I don't care if my relatives and friends see my wedding as something that is not as high class or atas as what they are accustomed to.

Remember: This is your wedding. Don't feel pressurised to do what you think others expect of you. Once you know what you want, just set yourself a budget and make sure that you spend within your means. It doesn't matter what people think as long as you're happy and still financially secure after that. 

Boy Erased (Review): We Live in an Illogical World

Disclaimer: I am not writing with the intention of offending or disrespecting any religious groups. There are good and bad people everywhere, whether they belong to a religious group or not. 

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I did not hear about the movie "Boy Erased" until my husband told me about it and bought us tickets. As usual, like anything that's about homosexuality, the film is rated R21 in Singapore. We went down to The Projector to watch it the day before yesterday (4 August). I didn't know what to expect since I didn't even watch the trailer, but it was so good! It opened my eyes to what conversion therapy was especially in the USA, and how horrifying it can be. We actually felt like watching the film was similar to being emotionally tortured, and I think that's the whole point. The film really made me feel for the main character, Jared. And yes, I know that it's based on a true story and on Garrard Conley's memoir, but I'm not really going to talk about that because I've not read it. I'm just going to blog about the movie and how I felt about it.

Spoilers ahead (duh).

Injustice

Throughout most of the movie, I felt frustrated and indignant because bad stuff kept happening to Jared, and none of it is his fault. The movie cuts between Jared going through conversion therapy (present), and how he actually got there (past). He had a girlfriend whom he was not sexually interested in, broke up with her, and went to college. There, he was actually raped in his own dorm room by Henry: someone whom he thought was a friend. Right after raping Jared, Henry breaks down and says that he did the same thing to a guy at his church as well. Like, what????

I was absolutely horrified by this and they didn't show the rapist getting into trouble for his actions! To make matters worse, Henry actually called his parents and pretended to be a school counsellor to ensure Jared's silence. Jared avoided him and Henry was afraid that Jared might tell on him or whatever, so he told on Jared instead. So not only was he raped, he was also betrayed. My blood was already boiling by this point.

After the movie I realised that there could be some people out there who have had to repress their sexual urges and then suddenly decided to just... rape someone and by doing so, commit a horrendous crime. I'm no expert and I'm not justifying the act of rape at all. But I'm just saying that it isn't unheard of. Pastors and priests have been charged for having sex with minors. And that's just disgusting because they are being hypocrites.

It's also probably very easy for someone to say, "Why don't they just embrace their homosexuality?" But that's also the whole point of the movie. It's hard to do that when society tells you not to. They think that it's unnatural and that it's a sin, when it's neither of those things.

Also, Jared and the other teens at the conversion centre were wronged since they were treated extremely poorly. But more on that later.

Different experiences

Jared, as well as other teens at the Love In Action gay conversion therapy centre (ironic name), struggle with who they truly are and society's expectations. For Jared, his family is against homosexuality. Due to Henry's despicable betrayal, Jared's parents chose to send him there. His father is a preacher and he invited two other men over to their house, and that was the recommended course of action to take I suppose. But his story ends well. He got out thanks to his supportive mum, and wrote an article about his experience. 

But what about the others? There's this strange guy called Jon, who tells Jared that he's there for the second time and he doesn't even touch men because he knows that he's being watched. He doesn't even want to shake hands with others and gives them salutes. It seems to me that he has gone a little mad. He needs support and mental health treatment, not this bullcrap. 

The only girl in the group had to confess that she touched girls "inappropriately" (I don't consider it inappropriate because it was consensual). She kept to herself and near the end of the film, it looked like she was going to be trapped at the conversion centre forever because she was being led away by the staff presumably to one of those long-stay houses. 

Then there's Gary (played by Troye Siven, whom I recognise as a YouTuber) who's figured it all out and has decided to 'fake it till he makes it' because he understands that if he convinces them to let him go, he'll be able to return to his normal life again.

Sadly, there's also Cameron, who ultimately chose to give up and commit suicide.

Masculinity

When the film started, we saw homemade videos of a little boy. As he grew up, he was saying that he liked playing basketball and that his favourite colour was blue and yellow. Typical things kid would say, you know? At first, I didn't see the point of this. But after the movie, I realised that they were portraying Jared to be a typical kid. Nothing in his childhood indicated that he was going to be a homosexual or even effeminate. (Not like that's how a person is gay. Come on)

The phrase 'fake it till you make it' was actually from this instructor (played by Flea) who tried to make the guys more 'masculine'. The scene was ridiculous, as you would expect. He told them that there was supposedly a 'masculine' posture to adopt and even got the only girl there to line them up from least to most masculine. (Did 'Cut' videos on YouTube get this idea from such dubious places? I hope not)

Again, masculinity is not an indicator of heterosexuality. The instructors at the centre don't see that. They have all kinds of dumb ideas about the world. They get the teens to try batting practice. Jared can swing a bat well. Does that mean he's not gay? No! There's no link at all! When a scrawny boy is unable to swing a bat and hit a baseball, they make him do it again and again... until a ball hits him on the head and the other teens quickly help him up. Later, his parents come over, scold the instructors for almost giving their son a concussion, and pull him out. At least they had enough sense to do so. 

Being masculine does not mean that you go around calling homosexuals "faggots" as well. I was appalled when one of the "therapists" did that to Jared.

Dubious, unethical practices

After that baseball incident, the instructors actually scolded the teens and reminded them that they were not supposed to tell their parents about what goes on at the centre.

This is dubious enough in itself. Actually, when Jared first enters the conversion centre, all his belongings are taken away from him. His mother is told that she won't be able to call him (even if there's an emergency, which is dumb) and she'd have to call the receptionist. Jared only gets his stuff back at 5pm, and his mother comes to pick him up at that time too. When she asks questions about the programme, he's unable to tell her the specifics, because Jared is portrayed as an obedient, impressionable boy. He's so nice that he's does all the things that he's told to do, even though it's bullshit. Another reason why the movie is so frustrating.

Other shitty things that the centre does is equate homosexuality to sin, AIDS, promiscuity, etc. Homosexuals are called sufferers of SSA, or same sex attraction. I was recently introduced to this term when I read an article about an organisation in Singapore that practises conversion therapy, calling homosexuals by that term as well. That is extremely insulting, because they're making homosexuality sound like an illness.

There's even a long list of sins, and mental illness made the list. The list was used for this exercise where the teens had to write out their family trees and indicate the sins that their family members had. That's also another sign that the centre is just an insidious institution that's trying to get more 'sinful' clients.

The worst part of the movie was when one of the participants was given a fake funeral. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was utterly pointless and soul-crushing. The previous day, a participant named Cameron found it difficult to confess his 'sins'. (Jared touched his arm to comfort him but Jon was all like, 'Omg, you shouldn't have done that') And apparently, the solution to that is to give him a fake funeral, get his family down, and beat him with a Bible to get rid of the devil inside him. And also put him inside a bathtub to... I don't know, drown the devil? I was so horrified. I couldn't (and still can't) believe that this is an actual thing. It's utter stupidity! It's fucking illogical! Jared found it difficult to watch and so did I. Ughhh.

Later, Cameron commits suicide. I was shocked even though it should've been expected. I mean, his family agreed to this ridiculous conversion therapy nonsense, attended his fake funeral, and willingly beat him with a Bible. They didn't accept him for who he really was. They weren't supportive. Is it any surprise to find out that he was depressed and committed suicide? As a teenager, you'd only have your family and your friends at school. And I guess, religion. These teens are cut off from schoolmates and forced to attend a garbage programme because of their parents and whatever religious institution that they belong to, I suppose. Then, they go home to their families who are probably wondering if their kid has magically stopped being a homosexual, not realising that they are wasting their money on frauds. How miserable is that?

Another horrible thing that happened in the movie was when Jared had to confess his 'sins'. He told the truth that he spent the night at an art student's place but they just lay in bed without actually engaging in intercourse. This makes complete sense because Jared's a victim of rape and he'd probably not wish to have sex again so soon, or at least he wouldn't have sex until he's pretty sure that Xavier was serious about him. Right? (Not all gays are promiscuous. Duh. Not all religious people are good and saint-like either, unfortunately)

Yet the "chief therapist", Victor Sykes, claims that he's lying! Jared, like the good boy he is, insists that he's telling the truth. Sykes isn't convinced and tells him to imagine that his father is sitting in front of him. Somehow, he wants Jared to let out his anger and say that he hates his father. Like I said, this conversion nonsense makes no sense. Jared refuses because again, it's not true that he hates his father. Lying is an actual sin. Jared flared up at the "therapist", storms out, and grabs his belongings (that always has to be placed in a box in a cupboard when they enter). All of the "therapists" try to stop him of course, so he hides in a cubicle to call his mother (played by the goregous Nicole Kidman). He's crying and urgently asking her to pick him up.

Jared says he doesn't want anyone to touch him, the "therapists" seem to agree to this, but the filmmakers cut to the next scene where they still touch him by putting their hands on him and praying for him. Wow. I like the way that the scenes have been cut to show how ridiculous these people are.

Even when his mum arrives, the "therapists" keep the door shut and still try to convince her that it's ok to let her son stay with them. Thankfully, Cameron stands up for Jared and helps him by pushing one of them away. Thank goodness, I was so glad. (Unfortunately, like I mentioned earlier, Cameron later ends up killing himself. He probably had a really hard time from the "therapists" after helping Jared. And like I said, his family must have been fucked up because they allowed for the fake funeral to happen in the first place)

At that point in the story, Jared's mother has finally come to her senses. After realising that this dubious organisation wants to know about their family's sins (busybodies much?), makes stupid spelling errors in their programme booklet (lol spelling God as 'dog', how dumb), and probably wants to keep teens there for long periods of time to earn money (there's no end in sight), she's had it. She yells at Victor Sykes and asks for his qualifications. (Yesss!) Then she sadly says something like, "Shame on you, and shame on me as well." It's heartbreaking to hear, but I felt like the audience probably heaved a collective sigh. Finally! Jared escapes from that literal hellhole! Throughout that entire scene, I was crying due to a mixture of relief (tears of joy perhaps) and all that pent-up frustration. The film left a sour taste of indignation in my throat, which meant that it really achieved its purpose.

Also, participants had to be accompanied to the toilet. Why though? Are they afraid that participants would look at other people's private parts, become aroused, and commit sin? Because that doesn't make sense at all. It's not like homosexuals have no sense of control and just want to engage in sexual activities all the time. And isn't it just strange to be accompanied to the loo like you're a kid? Are the instructors even doing this for the sake of safety? Are they so afraid that people would run away and so participants are treated as prisoners? Perhaps the instructors themselves are the actual perverts who would like to take a peek.

Family support

Jared's mum revealed that she had a gut feeling that conversion therapy was a bad idea, but she fell in line with her husband and the other men whom he had invited over that night. She said that Jared's Dad wanted him to continue with the programme, but reassured Jared that her husband could fall in line with her for a change. I was so pleased to hear this! It's already tough enough to come out of the closet. Parents should be supportive and accept their kids, not try so hard to change them into something they're not.

It's completely ironic for his father to want him to continue with the programme even after the "therapist" explicitly told Jared to admit that he hated his father when he didn't. You'd think that his father would be outraged to hear about this. It's not clear whether his father really knows what went on behind those closed doors, but surely he must have asked, right? Or is he such a horrible parent that he remains unconcerned about the well-being of his child? Is it even right to tell your child that you can't accept homosexuality under your roof, then ask your child if he's willing to change when he'll definitely say 'yes' because he knows that's the 'right' answer to you, even if he can't actually change?

There's a rift in their marriage after that since his parents now have different ideas about how they should handle this situation. But it's great that his mum has chosen to listen to her son and listen to reason. She has chosen to love her son unconditionally even at the expense of her marriage, unlike her husband, who selfishly cares only about his career as a preacher and his image at church.

Later, it seems like there's hope for Jared and his father to reconcile. His father refused to read the article that he wrote four years down the road, but at the end of the movie, Jared confronts him before flying off to New York. Jared says that he can't change who he is. He'll always be gay and he'll always be his son. So his dad needs to change. And his Dad says he'll try. (Hallelujah!) 

The other kids who totally lack any form of support from their families aren't so lucky. The film was set in the early 2000s I think, so the mobile phones they were using weren't smartphones. Hopefully, the situation has changed since then, and homosexual teens can get support elsewhere (online support groups, social media) if their own families reject them.

Science vs. religion

Well, maybe I'm just too naive, because apparently, it seems like some people would just blindly send their kids to such conversion centres without researching about them, finding out what the kids actually do there, and realising how dubious and unscientific the entire thing is. From the movie, I feel like they'd have a zero percent success rate, since none of the teens there actually became heterosexual.

And even the real Victor Sykes admits this. At the end of the movie, it is revealed that Victor Sykes later got married to a man. (This made the audience laugh) Yes, the horrible "therapist" was actually gay himself. How ironic! He was probably trying to hide his own homosexuality and ended up overcompensating. Out of curiosity, I went to do a quick Google search. The real Victor Sykes (that's not his real name) was involved in conversion therapy for more than a decade. Or was it two? Anyway, he got a divorce from his wife, married a man who became his husband, and apologised for the harm he had caused. He even stated that he "never met a man who experienced a change from homosexual to heterosexual." Just... wow. It took him more than decades to figure out that this is all pseudoscience. I wonder: how could he actually sleep at night while working as a conversion therapist? He also wasted so much time doing something extremely pointless while earning negative karma points at the same time.

And as what Jared's mum mentioned, these "therapists" weren't even real psychiatrists or psychologists with medical qualifications!

Before being sent off for conversion therapy, Jared's Dad sends him to the doctor to have his testosterone levels checked. The doctor, a woman of science, tells Jared that she already knows the results: he's a healthy teenage boy, duh. She tells him that even though it doesn't seem like it right now, he does have a choice. Phew, finally. Someone who actually makes sense! 

She says she believes in both God and science. Personally, I'd find it hard to reconcile science and religion, so I'm glad that I'm a freethinker and I don't have such problems.

The power of the written word

In the film, the people in charge at the conversion therapy centre looked through Jared's belongings and tore out pages from his diaries. Then, they proceed to question him about the content of his writing. Jared insists that it's just a story, but he was still asked questions such as "Did you think about two men when you were writing this love story?" 

Jeez, like that matters! The whole point about writing stories is to imagine what the world would be like from a fictional character's point of view. He could be homosexual but he could write about a heterosexual couple. What's wrong with that? If I write a story about a cat, does that mean I magically turn into a cat? What rubbish! He should've told them off and tell them to put themselves in the shoes of others once in a while to be a little more empathetic. 

The "therapists" at the centre clearly see literature as something powerful because Jared was even told to drop out of college and not read literary works. This reminds me about the children's book about gay penguins titled, "And Tango Makes Three". It became a controversy in Singapore (sigh) because traditional, religious people claimed that kids would be influenced by the book.

Again, how illogical. I have never met a homosexual who told me, "Come and be gay too! It'll be fun!" or something. But I have been stopped on the streets a thousand times and people have said, "Come to my church!" or "Do you know about Jesus Christ, our saviour?" Most recently, someone said, "Have you heard about God Mother?" to me even though I refused to make eye contact, shook my head and rolled my eyes to show that I wasn't interested.

(Side note: People have the freedom to tell others about God on the streets. Sure. I understand that. But that doesn't stop me from feeling irritated about it since I'm a freethinker who does not wish to convert, and also since I'm an introvert who doesn't wish to talk to strangers. Please also understand that people can actually report you for harassment if you cross the line. My student told me that a woman spent 45 minutes on the train talking to her about her church and asking her where she lived to see if her church was near her house or something. That is just plain creepy!)

In addition, in the film, someone (I think it was Jared's father) said that all the answers are in the Bible. This is false and I'm sure even my Christian friends would agree. I have not read or studied the Bible and I'm not trying to disrespect a holy text or anything, but logically, you'd have to treat the Bible as a historical text too. When you study the Bible, you cannot just read it without knowing the historical context in which it was written. Not everything can be taken literally! Not everything in the Bible is applicable to the modern world. (I can't believe I've had to write such commonsensical things in this blog post)

Lastly, I found out that real-life Victor Sykes was called out because of a blog post on MySpace. And as I have mentioned, Garrard Conley's autobiography, "Boy Erased", was adapted for this 2018 film. I'm glad that there are people out there who are exposing these so-called therapists. If you have a story to tell that would impact the lives of others positively, you should share it. Don't look down on the power of the written word and the power of stories.