Descendants 3 (Film Review)

R.I.P Cameron Boyce.

(I'd recommend the watching the interviews on ABC News about his death. They interviewed his parents in one interview, and also Kenny Ortega, Dove Cameron and Booboo Stewart in another. But for right now, this blog post is going to be a lighthearted one about the movie)

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Okay, so FYI: the Descendants movies are like my guilty pleasure. I know that the movies are bad, but I still enjoy them. The same goes for High School Musical. So even though I'm probably going to write about how shitty and illogical the movie is, I still enjoy the songs and the dance moves.

After watching the movie, I realised that there was something wrong with it but I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Then I read my previous review and it hit me: the Descendants movies are about TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS.

I already covered this in the aforementioned review, but I didn't know that it was going to play such a huge role yet again in the third installment of the Descendants. I didn't review the first movie, but Ben and Mal's relationship started off wrong because Mal gave him a love potion cookie or whatever. And later in that same movie, we find out that Ben knew that he had been spelled ever since the spell wore off when he got to take a dip in the Enchanted Lake.

At first glance, it's sweet and all that. Like, aww, he liked Mal all along! But if you really think about it, Ben's just a coward. He was already in a toxic relationship with Princess Audrey (emphasis on the 'princess', because that was how she introduced herself to the VKs) and didn't like her that much anymore because he realised she was mean and selfish. And he had already started liking Mal. So instead of doing the grown up thing and breaking up with Audrey properly i.e. talk it out and give her closure, he decided to just... continue pretending that he was under a love spell for the rest of the movie.

(We all know that he was under the influence of the love potion when he sang 'Did I Mention', which actually makes his proposal in the third movie even worse if you really think about it. But again, it was just glossed over as another 'aww' moment)

Somehow, Ben, an immature teenager is proposing to Mal, another immature teenager. They are too young and their relationship hasn't really changed since the last movie! Mal is still keeping secrets from Ben. In Descendants 2, she used her spell book behind his back. In this one? She kept a HUGE secret from Ben: the fact that Hades is her father. I get that Evie is her best friend so she knows, but shouldn't you also tell your boyfriend/fiance who your father is as well?

Okay, I have to admit that the songs are even better in Descendants 3. I love the song 'Do What You Gotta Do' because of the rock n roll vibe, and I love almost everything Sofia Carson's 'One Kiss'. The best song is 'Queen of Mean' obviously. Disney villain songs are the best.

But is it just me or are the dance moves... just a little off? Because they are kinda unrealistic. For instance, in 'Night Falls', they are fighting and yet dancing with the knights (or rather empty suits of armour, but well, there's the night/knight pun) and it just seems so fake. In reality, or even in the reality of fantasy worlds, if the villain casts a spell to get knights to attack you, the knights wouldn't just stand there and wait for you to squabble about who's in charge, and they sure as heck wouldn't wait for you to attack them like it's a dance. The dance moves in 'Do What You Gotta Do' was also really strange and forced. Like they are both trying way too hard to be cool. And I get that it's a musical, but I don't think this was an issue in the previous movies. Or in most movie musicals I've watched.

Since we are talking about the music, I'd just like to mention that the song 'My Once Upon A Time' doesn't fit into the narrative AT ALL. This is the song Mal sings after all her friends have abandoned her. It's really, really strange. I know it starts out with Mal being all sad, but eventually, for most of the song, it sounds uplifting and hopeful. Which is just so strange because there's nothing for Mal to be hopeful about! I feel like they had recorded the song and just wanted to squeeze it in there even if it didn't fit into the plot, just because they liked the song. Sigh. 

There are two illogical things that happen in the movie that I had issue with. First of all, Jane texts her mum, the Fairy Godmother, about Audrey having Maleficent's evil scepter. So Fairy Godmother rushes down to the museum to get her wand but when she's on the steps to the museum, she turns into stone. Jane gets worried and goes off to find her mum, and when she sees her mum, she's sad, but she also starts catching up with her and telling her that it's the longest birthday she's ever had. Even though it's unclear whether or not her mother is able to hear her. 

Okay, whatever. I don't have a problem with all that. It's all good until Jane and her two other friends just... hang out? Instead of grabbing the wand from the museum and trying to do something with it, Jane chooses to hang out. With her mum. Who has turned into stone. Wow. A moment ago, we thought that Jane was smart to dive underwater and escape Audrey's sleeping spell by holding her breath in the Enchanted Lake. We thought that she was smart when she used Enchanted Lake water to turn Ben from beast to human. I guess she used up all her intelligence by then or something. I guess the movie didn't want the minor characters to do anything major because Mal has to be the one who does everything. Ugh.

The second illogical thing that happened was when Mal revealed to her friends that she wanted to close the portal or barrier or whatever that separates the Isle of the Lost from Auradon. Why? Just, why? Obviously she feels guilty, but that's super bad timing. Can't she wait until the threat has been dealt with and admit her mistake? Again, it's like: are these characters supposed to be smart? Because Mal has done a lot of stupid things in all three movies. I don't think she or Ben should be even trusted to rule an entire kingdom, especially when they are basically immature teens.

My last point for this review would be how certain issues remain unaddressed by the end of the movie. You'd think that this is a trilogy and so all loose ends should be tied up, and everything gets neatly wrapped up like a cute little present with a bow on top. But no.

First overlooked issue: the lack of a proper justice system in Auradon. When Audrey is dying because Mal overpowers her magic, causing Audrey's magic to backfire on her or whatever, Mal brings in her father, Hades, because the Lord of the Underworld can help bring people back from the brink of death. Hades struts in, grabs his ember, and revives her. Yay, happy ending!

Wrong. Before Hades revives Audrey, there was a conversation that went something like this:

Hades: Since when do heroes care about villains?
Ben: She's-
Hades: One of your own? (sneer and derisive laugh) Right. When you guys try to destroy the world, this is an error in judgement. But, when it's one of us, lock 'em up and throw away the key. Right, Beast?

This brief conversation encapsulates the problem with Descendants. From the start, Ben has been saying that it's wrong to lock up the villains AND their kids, since the kids are innocent. Yet in the third movie, Mal almost makes the decision to close the barrier, which would have meant that innocents would remain locked up. 

And yes, I know that by the end of the movie, she realises that that would have been a mistake and she gets rid of the barrier once and for all. But there is still no proper justice system in Auradon. What's going to happen if these villains and their kids commit crimes e.g. steal from others? Who knows. And most importantly, is Disney trying to tell kids that they can cast curses on people, make them all sleep and even turn some into stone, yet still get away with it all if their parents are royalty? And there will be no consequences at all as long as they apologise? Wow. No wonder kids today are getting from bad to worse. (Also, as long as you apologise, you get to take part in the musical number at the end of the movie too! Yay!)

The second unaddressed issue in the movie are the toxic relationships. I've already talked about Ben and Mal's relationship, and how incompetent they will be at running the kingdom, but there's also Audrey's relationship with her grandmother, Queen Leah. Okay, so at the end of the day, Ben and Mal apologise to Audrey for hurting her, and Audrey and her grandmother apologise to Mal as well. (Because if you recall, Queen Leah was a bitch to Mal in the first movie too)

But we never see Queen Leah apologising to Audrey for attempting to brainwash her into thinking that the throne was hers. Queen Leah has been insidiously trying to get Audrey on the throne ever since she was born. We see pictures of Audrey and Ben growing up together as kids in Audrey's room. And in Audrey's song, 'Queen of Mean', she literally tells the audience that she'd always thought that she'd be the queen. She also sings that she never thought of herself as mean, even though she has been mean since the very first movie! She's so privileged that she is unable to reflect on her own actions. Jeez. Again this re-emphasises the same idea in the first movie: being born on the right side of the barrier doesn't automatically make you a good person.

Anyway, back to Queen Leah. She definitely owes Audrey a huge apology because in the third movie, we finally understand why Audrey's the way she is. It's because of her grandmother, who pressurises her unnecessarily, telling her that she should become the next queen. This is what she actually says in the movie:

Queen Leah: A lifetime of plans. Gone. Our family status. Gone. Audrey, you're supposed to be his queen, and you let him slip through your fingers! Your mother could hold on to a prince in her sleep!

This is how Queen Leah got into Audrey's head. And this is an extremely toxic relationship. Children should not be told what they should become when they grow up. Adults should not be living vicariously through their children or their grandchildren. Someone once said, "If you can see your path laid out in front of you step by step, you know it's not your path."

It's a shame that Disney didn't address this issue, because there are kids out there who desperately want to be good and please their family (like Audrey), but following the path that has already been laid out for them ultimately isn't what's good for them.

Overall, the movies were enjoyable because of the fact that they were musicals. The premise was good, but there was potential for the movies to delve even deeper into these themes instead of just scratch the surface.