Female Pleasure (Review)

The documentary #Female Pleasure finally came to Singapore this year even though it was released in 2018. We watched it at The Projector on 15 March and it was just really well put together. When I saw that it was going to be screened there, I wanted to watch it simply because the title suggested that the film was going to be about women and their freedom to express their sexuality. However, the film was actually so much more than just that.

It was eye-opening to find out about the five different stories that these individuals face. These stories are so different since the women are of different backgrounds and come from different countries, yet at the same time, they experience similar struggles due to the oppression of women that is rooted in worldwide patriarchy. 

Religion features quite prominently in the film, and this could be one of the reasons why in Singapore, we'd only get to watch it at The Projector and probably nowhere else. Sensitive topics are censored or avoided in this country because we are afraid that chaos would erupt if discussions lead to heated arguments, causing riots to divide our society. However, it is clear that bringing up the issue of religion is important to further the discussion on gender. It is impossible to steer clear of the topic since like it or not, the role of religion plays an important role in many people's lives. Unfortunately, religion is also bogged down by patriarchal systems. One of the women said in the film that patriarchy is a universal religion, and I agree with that 100%.

Doris Wagner, a former nun whose story was featured in the film, mentioned that the Bible was written by men. When she was a nun, the rules were laid out by men and women were supposed to ensure that the men did not take advantage of them. This rule is most absurd to me because it apportions blame to rape victims. It does not make sense for rape victims to be held responsible for the actions of rapists, but society continues to blame rape victims for dressing provocatively. For Doris Wagner, she told a senior nun what had happened and instead of receiving comfort, the senior nun said, "I forgive you". What on earth?

Something Doris Wagner said struck me: She mentioned that in the Bible, most of the male saints were sinful. However, for female saints, the one that is held up as the best and perfect model for women to follow is Mother Mary. And no woman can ever be like Mary, since she was perfect. She was pure as she was a virgin, and also the mother of Jesus Christ. How can any woman measure up to that?

Deborah Feldman's story revolves around the Hasidic community in New York City that she was born in. She was forced into an arranged marriage at a young age and gave birth to a son. Thankfully, she managed to escape the suffocating life within that community with her son, though she receives death threats. Later in the documentary, they show her working with a gay man who also managed to escape the community. He is an artist and so he captured her wrapping her body in one of those prayer mats that only men are permitted to use. To me this is a clear message that women's bodies should be cherished just as much as men's. Women should be treated equally and respected instead of always giving them a status beneath men, especially in so-called religious contexts. There is nothing moral about being sexist, unfair and unjust.

Leyla Hussein's story about FGM (Female Genital Mutilation) made me cry. Born in Somalia, she describes her experience. She and other little girls, at the age of seven or younger, were held down by adults whom they possibly trusted. These adults take a knife to their private parts and cut off certain areas. The process is so painful and so traumatising that it affects childbirth in later years and of course, anything else that has to do with that part of your body such as peeing and menstruating. She shared that if she had not been cut, the children at the playground would not play with her at school. They would have been ostracised. FGM not only happens in African countries but even in developed ones like the UK, where immigrants could possibly be going to extremes in order to hold on to their roots.

Her fight to end FGM is inspiring and she is so passionate about her work. When she demonstrated to a group of boys the different types of FGM through the use of huge models (made of possibly play-doh or some similar material) and also a huge pair of scissors, the boys squirmed and basically freaked out. She even stitched it back up in front of them, leaving just a tiny hole. Visual imagery is compelling to most of us and I hope that many more people would get to see something similar that shows them how horrific FGM is. That image certainly had an impact on me and I simply couldn't believe what I was seeing. 

The documentary also shows Vithika Yadav, head of Love Matters, whose organisation actively tries to share information about sex and sexuality online and through campaigns on the street. She married someone outside her caste and was lucky enough to marry out of love, but she is fighting against the patriarchy as well. To me, India has unfortunately become known to be the country where men rape and kill women frequently. The film shows her team putting out content that is common-sensical to me, such as the concept of consent and the idea that women wish to feel sexual pleasure as much as men. It is also troubling to hear a conversation between her and a Hindu religious leader going nowhere: when asked about homosexuals and homosexuality, the religious man claims that this is something of a Western culture that does not concern India. 

It is difficult to digest so much horrifying and disgusting information in one seating, so thankfully, the film includes Japanese manga artist Rokudenashiko to lighten up the mood. Although she was charged with breaking the law, to me, she didn't do anything wrong. All she did was create colourful moulds of her vagina and painted them in creative ways. She even depicted the Fukushima disaster using the 3D printing of her vagina, and the film showed her paddling happily in her bright yellow kayak that was made in the shape of her vagina.

She laughed when the police came over to her house to arrest her. Through her interviews, she shows us that Japanese people do not talk about female body parts enough even though they worship the male penis. The documentary then shows us clips of people at the Kanamara festival, or the Kanamara Matsuri, where phallic imagery is everywhere. Large phallic symbols are being carried around in grand-looking shrines or sedan chairs, and children are seen licking dick-shaped popsicles. The vagina is a mystery in comparison, and this distinction can easily be seen when one steps in a shop selling sex toys. 

All in all, this film has got me thinking. I now realise that girls (myself included) have grown up thinking that we should be ashamed of our body parts, especially our vagina. We are taught to cross our legs and dress appropriately from a very young age because if we don't do these things, we are inviting trouble. We have been taught to think that our vaginas are disgusting and dirty, resulting in restrictions that are specifically in place to exclude and blame females, to negate their pleasure, and possibly the worst of them all, horrifying practices like FGM. 

We therefore are not as concerned as we should be about our own sexual pleasure and desire. But why should girls (myself included) be disgusted by our own vaginas when it is simply a part of nature? Ultimately, it is about power and dominance. Somehow, men of the past created traditions that have shaped society and enabled men like themselves to stay in positions of power, and it is up to us to break free from these unhealthy ideas that have been masquerading as traditions. A scene from the documentary showed anti-FGM campaigner Leyla Hussein speaking to tribal women in Africa, elders of that particular tribe or village, and they told her that they wouldn't want FGM performed on their children. If so-called "uncivilised" places are able to change their minds on FGM, surely people in "civilised first-world countries" would be able to do so too, right?

One quote that stuck with me was when Leyla Hussein said something like: Martial rape is just rape, and FGM is just sexual assault. Let's call these things as what they are.