1. Male PE Teachers
Looking back, I realise that none of my PE teachers were females. All of them were males! When I was younger I didn't know about gender inequality and didn't realise how many girls are discouraged from sport etc etc, and so I didn't think much about the fact that there aren't many female PE teachers. But now it makes sense. I can only remember one female PE teacher who taught us netball, but she wasn't actually my teacher. She was just conducting a session for us so that we could get our badge (I was in St. John).
And okay, not all of the male PE teachers were bad. In primary school, my favourite teacher was my English teacher who was my PE teacher too. And he allowed us to choose what we wanted to do and he even tried to teach us baseball, which I think all of us sucked at but at least it was something new.
I can only recall 4 PE teachers I've had, and all of them were totally different. There's one who was an awesome teacher (whom I just mentioned in the previous paragraph), and one who was friendly and encouraging. But then there's one who pretty much was just there to do his job and did everything by the book, and then there's one whom I hate and think should not have graduated from NIE in the first place. (See this post)
Male PE teachers also have a bad reputation for being perverts. Just look at the way Coach Carr was depicted in Mean Girls.
But that's not my experience and not the reason why I dislike male PE teachers.
For me, the main reason is basically how awkward it is to tell them that you're on your period. As an awkward teenage girl, how are you supposed to tell your male PE teacher about that? What do you say?
"Erm, sir, I can't do PE today because I just got my period last night and it's a super heavy flow and I have cramps that make me want to curl up and die? If this was the sixth day of my period I would take part in the activities, but I really can't today. It is just so disgusting to bleed and sweat in a large pad, and it's not like we have any time to shower after that."
Thankfully we obviously did not have to go into such detail and we would just say that we have our periods rather briefly and they'd leave us alone. But you can just tell from the looks of some teachers that they are completely judging us and don't believe us 100% that we have their periods because there's no way for them to check. Which is why it is so damn awkward!
This also leads me to my next reason.
2. Anxiety
I always felt anxious and nervous whenever there was a PE lesson coming up. And when I feel anxious, my stomach gets queasy. Like Chidi, from The Good Place.
Anyway, normally, PE lessons take place in the early morning or in the late afternoon.
I think I am a little lactose intolerant or something, but I didn't know this back then. My mother would make me drink some milo before going to school and this would give me a stomachache. I'd end up in the toilet in the morning. If I was lucky, I'd have the urge to go before morning assembly. Sometimes it was after morning assembly and before first period. Once, I had to stop singing the national anthem mid-way and just GO. It was embarrassing.
So sometimes, I might miss the first part of the PE lesson, and when I return from the washroom, the teacher would look at me like I was trying to skip the lesson.
And I didn't just end up in the washroom in the morning. Sometimes, after running for a while, I would feel like going to the washroom as well. And again, when I returned, the teacher would look at me in a judgemental way. But I had no choice right? Did they expect me to poop my pants? Nobody told me that there was such a thing as "runner's stomach". (Just thinking about all of this gives me anxiety wtf)
And obviously, when there's PE, it means that we have to bring our PE attire.
If you knew me when I was in school, you'd know that I'm the kind of student who would avoid getting into trouble. But there's a good reason why I felt anxious about PE lessons to the point that by the time I was in JC, I would sometimes "accidentally" forget to bring my PE attire so that I could just sit the lesson out.
Every PE lesson can be anxiety-inducing and traumatising because it can feel as if every single person in the vicinity is watching your every move. It's not just your classmates, but also other classes nearby having PE, other people walking around the school compound, and other students having lessons upstairs might also look down at you to see what you're doing.
To make matters worse, there are things such as height and weight measurements and NAPFA tests that we have to go through. You basically need to get your weight measured in front of the entire class! I was underweight or had borderline acceptable weight most of the time and I was already feeling anxious. Can you imagine how horrible it is for people who have weight issues?
NAPFA tests are the worst. The class is usually only split into two, girls and boys, because of the different expectations based on gender. But there's only one PE teacher recording all the scores. So basically when you're carrying out the exercises, at least half of the class is watching you because they have nothing else to do. Then if you fail, everybody knows. It's not like your grade is on a piece of paper and you can hide it.
Anyway, this brings me to...
3. NAPFA Tests
Why were annual NAPFA tests even necessary? I just found out that now, students only have to take the NAPFA test once in two years. That's much better, but it still remains a pointless exercise for everyone involved.
Maybe there was a point in making us do these six things, but it was never communicated to us. In the article above, they explained why these exercises will help soldiers to be strong. But what about students and everyday civilians? I tried to rationalise it in my brain but I simply couldn't figure it out.
"Okay, I have to do a standing broad jump. Maybe this would be useful to me in future when I come across river rapids and I have to jump from one rock to another. But if that happened, couldn't I just jump in a more natural way instead of putting my feet together and swinging my arms stupidly? And in the first place, why would I even go to this river if I didn't have a raft and there wasn't a bridge? That's just poor planning isn't it?"
Would soldiers actually do this when they encounter "low walls, drains and ditches"?
There are many things we learn in school that we don't actually need in future, such as advanced trigonometry. The NAPFA test is similar to that. You'd think that we'd learn to keep fit during PE lessons and have fun while we're at it, but nope. NAPFA tests made us stressed out! I don't think that your fitness level is supposed to be partially measured by sitting in a contraption, strapping your legs down and pushing a piece of metal as far as you can. The final number at the end doesn't prove that you're fit at all.
I mean sure, the sit-and-reach test shows that you're flexible, but that's not the same thing as being fit right? And besides, do I really need the ability to touch my toes?
When I was in primary school, I was pretty much good at everything except sit-ups. I scored well at all the stations, including the inclined pull ups. But I just couldn't do sit-ups! It was frustrating because it was supposed to be the easiest station of all and everyone else could do it. I felt humiliated because I couldn't do it. I would have gotten a gold or silver if I could.
Sometimes, I would somehow manage to scrape by. Another method was to cheat. I would tell the person holding down my legs to add a few extra sit-ups to my score even if I didn't do it. As far as I can recall, I was caught cheating twice. The teacher in secondary school made me redo my sit ups in front of him and I think I passed because he left me alone after that. I can't remember. But in JC I still couldn't pass and my PE teacher told me that it was important to do sit ups so that I would be able to sit up on my own when I was older.
First of all, that piece of information didn't help me in any way because he did not actually tell me how I could go about getting better at it, if I should practise doing sit ups every single day, or if I was doing anything wrongly. Secondly, if what he said was to motivate me to practise harder, it didn't work at all. Sure, everyone wanted to do well in primary school at first. But by the time we got to JC, most of us girls didn't care whether we passed the test or not. It was more important to the guys since they were going for National Service.
Thirdly, I tried rationalising this piece of information in my head and it didn't make sense. When I want to sit upright, I can just use my hands to push myself up. Why must I cup the back of my ears with my hands and sit up?
And finally, I was already upset that I haven't been able to do sit ups for years. Getting me to stay behind and talking to me about sit ups, while everyone else gets to take part in other activities, is basically another way to humiliate me. Like I mentioned in the previous point, everyone else can see what you're doing during PE.
I think the worst thing my JC teacher did was to NOT record my 2.4km timing. I remember completing the run and feeling extremely relieved, because this meant that I could head off to the nearest toilet to relieve myself. But when I came back, he thought I had not completed the run. Wow. What a jerk. I sincerely hope that he is no longer in the teaching service.
The next point is something that could make me sound like an anti-feminist (which I'm not by the way) but here goes.
4. Gross Girls
This is linked to the fact that PE teachers are usually male. Due to this phenomenon, there are girls out there who have developed rather annoying tendencies.
If your male PE teacher is fit, young and his looks are above average, these girls generally end up behaving like fan girls at a concert.
Instead of screaming loudly like they would at a concert, they have to contain themselves and would instead let out high-pitched squeals.
Even if the male PE teacher is not so fit, young, or good-looking, some gross girls will still be extra friendly to said PE teacher in order to persuade them to select the activity of their choice.
As if this behaviour isn't disgusting enough, they also tend to wear booty shorts. Most people in Singapore generally wear FBT shorts when they exercise. And there is nothing wrong with this - as long as it isn't indecent exposure.
In case you're not a Singaporean and you've never heard of FBTs before, this is how they look like:
(Please note that the men's FBT shorts on the far right looks less sexy and even comes with pockets!)
Most girls wear FBTs and they look fine but Gross Girls™ do not wear FBTs properly. They pull up their (usually curved cut) FBT shorts such that it is above their waists, making sure that their butt cheeks are exposed. This is quite indecent considering the fact that we're in school. And since they are usually standing up and speaking to the PE teacher in front of everyone else, this means that while we are seated, some of us can ACTUALLY SEE what's underneath EVEN IF WE DO NOT WANT TO.
That is the main difference between regular girl and Gross Girl™.
For this reason, I have refused to wear FBTs. I wore Adidas shorts which looked like this:
(Wow, I can't find similar shorts like this on a female model on Google Images)
My friend wore something like this too and we were practically the only two people in school who did not wear FBTs during PE lessons.
Look, I'm all for people wearing whatever they want to, especially since rape victims are always blamed on police posters for dressing indecently when the blame should be put on the rapists.
But we are in school and the school teachers are always all up in your grill about your uniform isn't it? The point of wearing school uniform is to look professional, isn't it?
This is why I get singled out for folding my skirt above my knee, even when it is too long for me and I look simply ridiculous when the skirt is below my knee. And this is why I still get singled out even if I don't fold my skirt because I suddenly had a growth spurt, which kind of embarrassed the teacher because she realised that I didn't fold my skirt, it was of an appropriate length, and she picked on me for nothing. (It is also presumably why the discipline mistress told me off for wearing dangle earrings instead of studs, even though I had been wearing them under her nose for months because they were tiny! Also, we had to wear school socks!)
If schools are so strict about the lengths of our skirts, why are we allowed to wear FBT shorts during PE? The general rule for skirts is that it should only be four fingers above the knee. The longer the better. But for shorts? It only needs to be a few centimetres longer than your underwear, I guess. This is something I will never understand.
5. The Smell: Sweat, Dirt, Blood and Mud
I think this reason speaks for itself. During PE lessons, everyone stinks. After PE lessons, everyone has to go back to class and we all stink. People start spraying deodorants, which stink as well. If someone has their period and you have a sensitive nose, you can smell their period blood and it's stronger than ever because of their sweat. If you've been playing a game on the field, the classroom becomes muddy. Ugh.
Even the teachers hated coming into class when we just had PE. It's a gagfest, honestly.
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